THE BIBLE MUST BE REWRITTEN!
Dear God, I know you have received a plethora of letters and telephone calls from many different people, and you must be bored since most of them are just to create fun. My letter is of the more serious variety. I know you already know what I want to say but I'll repeat it for all to hear. The Bible must be rewritten! Father, I submit that the Bible must be rewritten because it has outlived its days (of course you know I can't say usefulness). You see, even though you created this world, and you have been there from the beginning, you do not live in this world with us. A lot of things have changed since the days of Adam and Abraham thems. Thus if we pick the Bible now, we must change some things to suit the "modern" age. For example, books like Deuteronomy, Leviticus and Numbers are no longer relevant. People who oppose Christianity say that it is filled with hate speech, and they actually quote portions (Leviticus 20:13, Deuteronomy 13:1-5) of those books t