LETTER TO GOD (IV)

Dear God,

It’s been a long while since I wrote to you. The last time I wrote to you, it was to talk about Ghana’s dumsor. Today it is 3 different things oo so brace yourself.

First. God, are you a Ghanaian or is it just during football that you become Ghanaian? Are you a Ghanaian? Are you sure you are? Sir, I wish to submit to you that the country Ghana, and Ghanaians, are thieves and dishonest people who will steal and cheat at the slightest chance. Sir, this is regardless of whether we are politicians or not, whether we are NDC or NPP, and whether we go to church or not. Can you believe that a recent report on investigations about the fire that gutted Ghana’s Central Medical Stores revealed that the place was deliberately set alight to hide shady dealings that would have beeen revealed in a forensic audit scheduled for the day of the fire? People – Ghanaians, Christians, Muslims, NDC and NPP sympathisers – deliberately cost the country huge sums of money and consequently, lives because of their thievery. Even more amazing is the speed with which investigations were carried out, and the culprits (public servants in this case) named. Sir, if the perpetrators had been politicians, you know we would not have seen or heard of the report. At best, the perpetrators would have been allowed to come and tell us when they intended to pay back what they stole from us. God, Ghana is one big mess and I’m not sure if you needed only 10 righteous people to save this land, you would find even 5. We are all corrupt, dishonest and thieving. Really pathetic, isn’t it?

Second. Our dumsor situation has now improved but have you heard about “Mensor”? This term has two pronunciations. You can pronounce the “e” sound same as you pronounce the sound in “kick” or as in “pen”. When you pronounce the “e” sound as in “kick”, the word becomes “Mensor” meaning “I won’t turn it on”, and when the sound is pronounced as in “pen”, the word becomes “M3nsor” meaning “Don’t turn it on”. In both cases, one is being admonished not to “turn on” an electrical gadget. Abba Father, we progressed from “dumsor” to “Mensor/M3nsor”. “Mensor/M3nsor” refers to the state of personal dumsor where the individual – rather than the ECG or their affiliates – turns off his lights voluntarily so that s/he can conserve electricity and avoid paying more. This has become necessary because electricity has now become so expensive in Ghana, you buy prepaid electricity credits, and the credits literally jog off the meters. Of course, there is the normal “Ghanaian” agency thievery where credits vanish even when the person has not turned on any gadget. God I’m not complaining about this because I’d rather have expensive-but-constant electricity supply than cheap-but-12-in-48 hours electricity supply. Many Ghanaians are complaining about the expensive electricity, but don’t mind them God. About half of them have engaged in illegal connections, tampering with their meters so they pay less. Like I said, the average Ghanaian is a thief and a cheat.

Lastly, the CPP elected Ivor Kobina Greenstreet, a differently-abled man (God you should love our terms), as their Presidential candidate for the 2016 elections. In addition to silencing sour losers like Samia Nkrumah, Sir, can you also make Ivor the fresh breath our politics needs? I know you are tired of the constant NPP-NDC circus which has failed to produce any good results irrespective of the blessings you have given us in each party’s tenure in office.

Heavenly Father, these days you have become slow in answering my prayers. You know I need the answers to those prayers fast fast because – like we say – time no dey. May your kingdom last forever.

Yours sincerely,

Kobina.