CIRCLE TIPTOE LANE: A SOAP OR A PHONE





Two men walk to the Kwame Nkrumah Circle, Tiptoe Lane Area, to buy mobile phones. Both buy phones wrapped in brightly coloured polythene bags and walk home jolly. One unwraps his polythene bag and takes out a beautiful new smartphone in a box. The other opens his polythene and takes out the contents, his jaw dropping in surprise because he got a bar of soap instead of a smartphone in a box. His surprise is even more amplified because he thinks to himself “how did the other man get a smartphone whilst I got a bar of soap even though we both bought from the same area?” Lots of people have bought soap instead of smartphones at the Tiptoe Lane area. Yet others have bought very good smartphones from this same Tiptoe Lane.

There’s a morbid concern about love relationships and marriage these days among young people. The concern has been accentuated by social media pages and groups where people share their stories both good and bad. In sharing these stories on the good-bad scale, however, marriage has ended up with the short end of the stick. We have seen more bad stories about marriage than good ones. So most people, singles to be precise (especially women), have come to fear marriage and some have vowed to just “have my own child, and have the freedom to f**k whoever I want”. There are some truths to be noted.

1. The lots of negative stories that have been shared on social media has lots of singles, especially single ladies, viewing all marriages as homogeneous: abusive, cheating partners, poverty, heartache and eventually death from heartbreak. It's sad. My dear single person, all marriages are NOT the same. Not all partners are abusive or cheats. Relax and find a suitable partner.


2. People fear marriage because they’ve been made to see it as a life of difficulty, where you’ll appear to your folks as battered and tattered. Such a lie. Dear single person, marriage is not easy but it is not difficult either. It is life, it comes with its own ups and downs. Take them as they come.


3. Closely linked to the above is the biggest misrepresentation of marriage: That you’re in a good marriage ONLY WHEN you’re married to a rich partner. How terrible to make “rich partner” the key indicator of how well a person has married. Dear single person, your partner may or may not be rich. What is important is that you're happy with them and valued by them.


4. Everyone is busy looking for the “perfect” or “mature” partner, but would want that partner to “love me for who I am”. You think that partner is also not looking for perfection or maturity? My dear single person, don’t be silly. Like it is said in pidgin English, “shun dey fool den learn sense small cos you go need am”. You dey grow! #DropThatFolly


Simply put, I'm saying that people buy soap (unsuitable partners) whilst other buy phones (correct partners) even though we all buy from the same Tiptoe Lane (society). And that if you get a soap instead of a phone, it is possibly because you chose to buy from wayside rather than walk around  looking for shop from which you could buy.

 Put in the work needed to find a good partner. And be a good partner. Stop looking for partners who are all things but sensible. Else you’re responsible for whichever kind of marriage you get.


So, back to the phone-turned-soap story. How does one make sure he gets a phone and not soap? Simple. Go to a known shop and buy a phone with a guarantee. Do the needed work, walk around Tiptoe Lane, look out for shops, go to a recognized one and buy a phone. Else you dey do yourself!

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